GOOD LUCK WITH SUNDAY'S ELECTION M. SARKOZY!

DID QADDAFI FOLLOW THE WRITINGS OF K.W.A.?

STUNNING NEW PHOTO REVEALS JONG IL'S SECRET

FSRI TO CHANGE LOCATION OF GUANGDONG CAMPUS

CARSON CITY, NV - Taking the business world by surprise, the FSRI (Faking Smart! Research Institute) announced today that it was moving the prospective site of its new Chinese campus from the small Guangdong Province city of Yunfu to the city of Heyuan, about 100 miles north and east of the major provincial city of Guangzhou.  According to the FSRI press release, there are many reasons for making this change, the main being that Heyuan is better equipped to accommodate FSRI structural requirements.

"Heyuan is definitely the place to build our facility," says FSRI China Spokesperson Hank Lee.  "Fortunately we caught this in time... before we started work on the Yunfu campus.  Right now all we can think of is how pleased and excited we are to start the ground-breaking on our new Heyuan home."

The Heyuan campus will support over 40,000 FSIHL (Faking Smart! Institute for Higher Learning) students.  The facility will also serve as headquarters for the new FSRI Institute for World Peace, the FSRI Organization for Organizational Research and as training ground for the pilot FSRI 2036 Olympic team.

Afer hearing that Heyuan had been chosen for the future FSRI campus, city officials had this to say: 河源市目前擁有世界上最重要的恐龍化石庫之一。城市的博物館已收集恐龍蛋化石，恐龍最大的收集，總數超過 10萬記錄在吉尼斯世界紀錄。恐龍蛋化石最早發現在施工現場附近的城市。從那時起，當地人都有助於提高集合。考古學家發現了恐龍化石skeletions和168個恐龍腳印化石。

THE DEATH OF THE MAGAZINE INDUSTRY?

There's a lot of talk about the decline and impending death of the magazine industry.  But as John Hodgman says: "At one point in 2011, there were more magazines laying around people’s homes than any other year in history — and you can take that to the bank, the MAGAZINES BANK."


Here's a list of the EIGHT BEST MAGAZINES PUBLISHING IN OUR COUNTRY TODAY:


1.  OK!


2.  Men's Health


3.  Parade


4.  Readers Digest


5.  People


6.  InStyle


7.  Living


8.  Real Simple


So there you have it.  Long live the magazine... well into the year 2012!

DECATEUR'S WEEKLY BUSINESS ROUNDUP

Hey, guys, what's up?
Whatever...


This week's business round-up comes a couple of days before New Year's, so I'll make it kind of brief so that everybody can get back to doing whatever it is people do during the holiday.  To be honest, I'm not in the best mood right now.  The reason is that I was kicked out of my bedroom for three days while my sister was in town last weekend with her family.


Basically, my two nephews and one niece got my basement room and I had to sleep on the couch in the den.  To make it short, they trashed the place - they got into freakin' everything: my CDs, my clothes and even my Star Wars figurine collection! - and now I can't bring myself to clean up.  I'm like paralyzed.  I can't think.  It's over and they're gone, but it totally sucked.


So, now you get an idea of what I'm dealing with.  Sleeping on the couch isn't that bad (I could play the new Skyrim game all night!) but getting up 7:00 a.m., when the kids got up, was absolute torture.  Now I know what it might have been like to be that Russian guy in the labor camp when Stalin was around.


Okay, enough about me.  Here are my predictions for next week:


1.  I've got a good feeling about tech stocks.  I see some major announcement coming out of the industry that will give a good bump to companies like Intel and IBM.  Thumbs up.


2.  Stay away from Verizon.  Yes, now!  There's gonna be some big fallout from their $2 fee for online billing, and I wouldn't want to be around when the peasants revolt.


3.  Dump your Euros.  Last week I would have said "buy", but this week I'm back with a bearish stance.  Greece is going to come up with some doozie numbers soon and I think Spain is going to be making news about being on the economic brink.  Just another reason to move toward advancing Asian equities.


All right, that's it for now.  Take care and have a happy New Year.  Me... I'll be locked in the basement till at least Monday (avoiding the rent my mom will come looking for...) just me and Skyrim and 10 2-liter bottles of  Mountain Dew.


-Decateur

OFFICE SECRET SANTA GIFT IDEAS!

Here are FIVE SIX! gift ideas for you to use when participating in this year's office Secret Santa. Each item cost no more than $10!




1. WrisTimer Wrist Support $10 (therapy for symptoms of carpal tunnel syndrome)

2. Office Max Stapler $9.99 (staples papers and documents)



3. Purell Sanitizing Wipes $6.00 (sterilizes headsets and keyboards)


4. Jarden Heating Pad $10 (soothes aching lower back pain)




5. FOX Pepper Spray $9.95 (keeps away the unwanted co-worker!)




6. "The greatest book ever written!": Faking Smart!: Get Hired, Get Promoted and Become a V.P. in Six Short Weeks - GUARANTEED! $9.99!




Merry Holidays!
the FSRI